Story Submission 8
The main thing I ended up changing was my grammar and spelling. I did also change the flow of the story so it ran smoother than before and made the puns more spread out. I also made it more descriptive to make the reader feel like they're in Daniel's home.
It was a couple hours before dinner when Daniel saw Peter walking out of The Place of Secrets. His papa was walking beside him as they made their way home.
Daniel sighs in relief as they made their way home, happy that no one is sending the young boy out of the village. He glances down at the rabbits before making a small pouch with his shirt, bending to scoop the little bunnies into the pouch. He chuckles feeling the small bunnies burrow against his stomach, nuzzling the warmth that radiated off of him.
Once he made it home, Daniel slowly makes his way to his room as he heard his parents shuffle in the kitchen. He shifts one of his shoe boxes into a makeshift home and gently lays them in there, draping a shirt over them to keep them warm. Once he made sure they were settled, Daniel makes his way downstairs to properly greet his parents.
"What was the rush to your room son? Found something?" Thomas asks as Daniel enters the kitchen while he sets the table.
"Yeah! I found some baby bunnies while I was in the fields," Daniel said as he washes his hands before helping his parents begin focusing on dinner. "What's for eating mama?"
"Salmon with steam veggies. I know you love dealing with fish, so we left that for you to do," his dad said with a grin before bursting out laughing at his son's expression.
"Aw. Come on dad, that's a low blow," he huffs and goes to gently shoulder bump his father who easily dodges him. Daniel yelps in surprise as his father pokes his face and rubs his nose.
"You know the rules, the last one here does the deer," Thomas joke before going back to cutting the carrots and broccoli. "You'll be so bro-cooli if you do it right."
Daniel and his mother, Amelia groan at his father's pun even though both knew it was a way to lighten the mood. "Please no more dad...that one was the worse one yet," he sighs as he washes the fish before grabbing the cutting board and knife.
"It was kind of funny," his dad said with a grin, as he places the cut veggies in a different bowl. Daniel stays quiet as he fillets the salmon, pondering on what type of pun he can return on his father.
Amelia watches the two from the table as she sews a small a baby shirt, humming softly. She smiles at her husband and son as they help with dinner before noticing David's mischievous glint in his eyes. He walks over to the table and picks up a glass of orange juice and holds it up to his father's face.
“Orange jou glad I can one-up you?” David said with a straight face before laughing.
"Both of you stop or the food will get sour with your horrible puns," Amelia sighs, resisting the urge to facepalm at the two. She gets up and puts her sewing material away, Thomas leaning down to whisper to Daniel. "I thought it was funny..." he whispers to his son.
"Finish dinner or I'll be sending you both to sleep outside with Lady," Amelia warns from the storage closet. Both quickly went back to their tasks knowing better than to enrage the pregnant mother. It wasn't long till dinner was ready and the family of three (soon to be four) sat at their table. After everything was set, they began eating and talking to themselves.
Dinner was uneventful as his parents talk about the new baby and the things they'll need to prepare for. As his mother was explaining the design of the nursery before pausing in midspeech causing Daniel and Thomas to look at her worriedly. She gave them a reassuring smile and rubs her belly gently.
"He's starting to kick more...He's more active than you were Daniel. Although you used to sleep on my bladder more often..." Daniel whistles innocently before digging his face into his plate," I have no idea what you're talking about mother."
Amelia rolls her eyes before slowly getting up from her seat with a sigh. She groans, stretching her arms above her head. "Would you mind putting the food away and doing dishes?" she asked them with a smile,
"Of course dear. I'll join you in bed after," Thomas responded, smiling as Amelia gave him a cheek kiss.
"Thank you, my love. Good night you two," she said after giving them hugs. She soon made her way to her bedroom to rest after the long day.
Daniel looks at his father and sticks his tongue out. "Rock paper scissors to see who does dishes?" His dad nodded and held out his fist before the two went at it. Daniel laughs as he beats his father and quickly goes to put away the leftovers. Thomas grumbles as he goes to wash dishes before they bid each other good night.
It was a couple hours before dinner when Daniel saw Peter walking out of The Place of Secrets. His papa was walking beside him as they made their way home.
Daniel sighs in relief as they made their way home, happy that no one is sending the young boy out of the village. He glances down at the rabbits before making a small pouch with his shirt, bending to scoop the little bunnies into the pouch. He chuckles feeling the small bunnies burrow against his stomach, nuzzling the warmth that radiated off of him.
Once he made it home, Daniel slowly makes his way to his room as he heard his parents shuffle in the kitchen. He shifts one of his shoe boxes into a makeshift home and gently lays them in there, draping a shirt over them to keep them warm. Once he made sure they were settled, Daniel makes his way downstairs to properly greet his parents.
"What was the rush to your room son? Found something?" Thomas asks as Daniel enters the kitchen while he sets the table.
"Yeah! I found some baby bunnies while I was in the fields," Daniel said as he washes his hands before helping his parents begin focusing on dinner. "What's for eating mama?"
"Salmon with steam veggies. I know you love dealing with fish, so we left that for you to do," his dad said with a grin before bursting out laughing at his son's expression.
"Aw. Come on dad, that's a low blow," he huffs and goes to gently shoulder bump his father who easily dodges him. Daniel yelps in surprise as his father pokes his face and rubs his nose.
"You know the rules, the last one here does the deer," Thomas joke before going back to cutting the carrots and broccoli. "You'll be so bro-cooli if you do it right."
Daniel and his mother, Amelia groan at his father's pun even though both knew it was a way to lighten the mood. "Please no more dad...that one was the worse one yet," he sighs as he washes the fish before grabbing the cutting board and knife.
"It was kind of funny," his dad said with a grin, as he places the cut veggies in a different bowl. Daniel stays quiet as he fillets the salmon, pondering on what type of pun he can return on his father.
Amelia watches the two from the table as she sews a small a baby shirt, humming softly. She smiles at her husband and son as they help with dinner before noticing David's mischievous glint in his eyes. He walks over to the table and picks up a glass of orange juice and holds it up to his father's face.
“Orange jou glad I can one-up you?” David said with a straight face before laughing.
"Both of you stop or the food will get sour with your horrible puns," Amelia sighs, resisting the urge to facepalm at the two. She gets up and puts her sewing material away, Thomas leaning down to whisper to Daniel. "I thought it was funny..." he whispers to his son.
"Finish dinner or I'll be sending you both to sleep outside with Lady," Amelia warns from the storage closet. Both quickly went back to their tasks knowing better than to enrage the pregnant mother. It wasn't long till dinner was ready and the family of three (soon to be four) sat at their table. After everything was set, they began eating and talking to themselves.
Dinner was uneventful as his parents talk about the new baby and the things they'll need to prepare for. As his mother was explaining the design of the nursery before pausing in midspeech causing Daniel and Thomas to look at her worriedly. She gave them a reassuring smile and rubs her belly gently.
"He's starting to kick more...He's more active than you were Daniel. Although you used to sleep on my bladder more often..." Daniel whistles innocently before digging his face into his plate," I have no idea what you're talking about mother."
Amelia rolls her eyes before slowly getting up from her seat with a sigh. She groans, stretching her arms above her head. "Would you mind putting the food away and doing dishes?" she asked them with a smile,
"Of course dear. I'll join you in bed after," Thomas responded, smiling as Amelia gave him a cheek kiss.
"Thank you, my love. Good night you two," she said after giving them hugs. She soon made her way to her bedroom to rest after the long day.
Daniel looks at his father and sticks his tongue out. "Rock paper scissors to see who does dishes?" His dad nodded and held out his fist before the two went at it. Daniel laughs as he beats his father and quickly goes to put away the leftovers. Thomas grumbles as he goes to wash dishes before they bid each other good night.
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